[Todos] Fwd: The Argentine chapter of the academic show (fifth letter)

[fabio vicentini]

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: fabio vicentini <fmvicent en gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Aug 31, 2013 at 3:09 AM
Subject: The Argentine chapter of the academic show (fifth letter)
To: "presidencia en conicet.gov.ar" <presidencia en conicet.gov.ar>,
FulbrightNEXUS en iie.org, info en fundacionsadosky.org.ar, info en mincyt.gob.ar,
prensa en mincyt.gov.ar


 Buenos Aires, June 23, 2012

 Dear Colleague:

 Subject: Standard procedure to write a paper

 Being under pressure to write papers the academic is not free to choose
the research problem dictated by his own inclination, for he is conditioned
by a deadline: he must publish two papers per year. Hence he has to use a
method to meet the constraint. Let us see what a well adapted academic does
to circumvent the obstacle.

 Rupert Alfeñique is professor in the Chemistry Dept. He commenced at the
lowest rung as a teaching assistant, and then went through the intermediate
steps to full professor. He began writing papers in collaboration with the
dept chairman Calvin Klein 14 years ago, and since then he has piled up 29
papers. His contributions to the science of Lavoisier follows a well
ordered scheme:

 [1] R.Alfeñique, C. Klein, C. Chaplin. *On the transmutation of gold into
lead , Part I*. Journal of Alchemy of the Samoan Islands, 1995.

*. . .*

[29] R.Alfeñique, C. Klein, B. Keaton. *On the transmutation of gold into
Coltan , Part XXIX.* Journal of Chemistry of the Democratrc Republic of the
Congo. 2008.

 *Relevant aspects of Rupert's method***

* *1) Rupert has never worked out a paper by himself. His papers are the
joint product of a "research group" teamed up to contrive material that
would comply with the "Publish-or-Perish"* *injunction. He works under the
motto "one for all, and all for one". The papers obtained in companionship
are divided and parceled out so that each paper is coauthored by members of
the group. Up to now Rupert's papers have the following papers distribution:



# authors

# papers

1

0

2

11

3

5

4

5

5

7

6

1



29



2) The abstract of his papers may look different, but they are the same
horse with different colors. The subject matter is chosen so as to make
mileage out of it.

 3) The journals might be different for if journal 1 rejects the paper, he
sends it to journal 2, if this one rejects the paper, he sends it to
journal 3, and so forth. Since the sequence 1,2,3,...  is denumerable, some
journal along the line will accept it.

 4) The research group aims at providing each member a given number of
papers - usually two papers per year. At present Rupert's score is 2.1 .

 Fabio Vicentini
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